A few days ago, my teammate and I were on a Zoom call when a client asked:
“Can I ask you ladies something? I don’t want to make assumptions, so it’s best to ask.”
Then she went: “You two are Islamic, aren’t you?” (She meant Muslim) “And you’re doing something like a sabbath now?” (Ramadan) “I was listening to an influencer who said Islam sees women as sheep and cows, and that Muslim women need to be saved… but then I thought of you, and you seem to be doing fine.”
My teammate and I laughed. Not because it’s funny-funny… but because it’s that sad, awkward kind of funny.
But it got me thinking.
When we meet someone “different,” our first instinct is often fear.
Fear makes us defensive.
Fear makes us grab the quickest explanation available.
Fear makes us judge fast, just to feel safe.
Because fake certainty feels better than sitting in uncertainty.
It’s easier to label someone than to get curious about them. It’s easier to decide what they are than to ask who they are.
And when fear keeps growing, it can turn into something uglier. It can turn into hate, while we keep telling ourselves we’re “just being realistic.”
So here’s what I try to practice, imperfectly but intentionally:
Replace judgment with curiosity.
Not the fake kind. The real one.
The kind that says: I don’t know your story yet, but I want to understand it.
I work with people from all around the world. I help them write their books, which means I hear their life
stories. And I’ve noticed something simple:
When I am curious, conversations go deeper. Walls drop. People open up.
A few clients even told me I make them feel like their therapist, which always makes me laugh.
But that’s exactly what I mean.
Curiosity is love in action. 
It breaks walls. It makes the world feel less like “us vs. them” and more like… we’re all just people trying to figure life out.
So be curious. Ask questions. Wonder. Don’t assume.
Happy Friday
P.S. Since it’s Ramadan, I’m happy to answer questions about Islam or Muslims, as long as they come from real curiosity.
#FridaysThoughtsOnLove #theyasminism
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